NEXT STOP NOWHERE #1 (A5, 56 pages)

This is the new 'zine from Dave Hopkin aka Dave Newest Industry aka Monk Dave, one half of the deadly duo behind the much-missed punk fanzine Fracture, and it's more reminiscent of his older 'zine Mad Monks. Encased in an excellent cover illustrated by Welly of Artcore / Four Letter Word, it features a massive BLACK COUGAR SHOCK UNIT US tour diary written by Dave himself. Worth reading alone for the amazing tale of Hard Skin playing San Diego to a crowd of clueless skinheads. Can't wait to see them at Out of Spite!

Also featured is a great interview with Cardiff hardcore types Social Skills and some stuff about punk record store Damaged Records and a sceptical piece on Scientology... YOU WERE NOT THERE! Sorry, couldn't resist it. There's a few music reviews at the back with a great review of DEFIANCE OHIO - "some songs sound like George Formby, the theme tune to the 'Dukes of Hazzard' and 'The Kids from Sesame Street' all rolled into one." Ha!

All in all this is well worth picking up. There's a couple of hours quality reading here and that's more than can be said of most 'zines, ever. (www.thenewestindustry.com should have some copies if you're interested!)

THE UNLOVABLES – Heartsickle LP (Crafty; CD on Whoa-Oh Records)

“Whoa-oh whoa-a-oh! Whoa-oh whoa-a-oh, whoa-oh! Whoa-oh whoa-a-oh! Whoa-oh whoa-a-oh, whoa-oh!” So begins the sophomore release from NYC's bubblegum pop-punkers The Unlovables, released, appropriately enough, on Whoa-Oh Records. Except for the vinyl version, which is on Crafty, but the record doesn't begin “Crafty cra-af-ty! Crafty cra-af-ty, crafty!”. Perhaps they should've re-recorded that song for the vinyl release? Perhaps not.

Recalling the sound of Lookout's mid-90s heyday (the “cutesy cartoon animals” era, after the “snotty punk” era but before the “running the label into the ground by releasing pretentious hipster shit” era), Heartsickle is 13 tracks of upbeat, happy, summery tri-chord loveliness in the tradition of the Mr T Experience and Screeching Weasel. True, aint nuthin' you aint seen before, but you've probably not heard it done this well in a very, very long time. And, even though the Unlovables are a girl-fronted pop-punk band, they don't sound anything like Discount! Apart from the song 'Have You Ever' which, erm, sort of does.

Lyrically, Heartsickle ticks most of the “standard pop-punk subject matter” boxes: wanting boys you can't have, having boys you shouldn't have, snaring boys that you've been longing for, wanting boys who want you to go away... boys, basically. Hailie's vocals are a perfect complement for the lyrics throughout, with both ranging from cute-as-a-button to snotty-as-a-cold-infected-nose. The final two tracks are the most extreme examples of both: 'Sweet Sweet Boy' is an endearing song about not wanting to mess up a relationship, while closing track 'Crazy Tonight' includes the simply splendid line “and if you say that I'm pre-menstrual then I'll stab you with a pencil” - erk!

If you can imagine the Josie & The Pussycats soundtrack with swearing you're pretty much there. The band names is a lie: everyone from 11-year-old Avril Lavigne fans, to be-Chucked teenage pop-punk kids, to bitter, cynical, pessimistic 20-somethings who thinks that 99% of pop-punk made after 1997 is soulless, overproduced codswollop - and we'll let you be the judge of which of those brackets we fall into - you'll find the Unlovables to be ever-so lovable indeed. I bet loads of reviews have said that already, but it's the truth, man. As we've said before in Hot Cuss, there's a pop-punk revival going on, and the Unlovables are riding the crest of that wave, along with The Ergs (with whom they share a member). To quote the final line of the album, “don't say you weren't warned”.

Normal Service Will Be Resumed As Soon As Possible

Hot Cuss is taking a break due to "technical difficulties" with its writers. We will return on Friday June 1st with more reviews of varying quality of music, TV and "other".

THE UNBELIEVABLE TRUTH (Radio 4, Monday April 30th, 6.30pm)

That David Mitchell sure loves his panel shows, doesn't he? Clearly not satisfied with appearing on every episode of every panel show produced in the last three years (slight exaggeration), he's now bagged the job hosting the latest in a very long line of Radio 4 comedy panel games.

Subtitled “the panel game built on truth and lies”, the premise of the Unbelievable Truth is thus: four panelists in turn discuss a subject at length (this week: the human body, morris dancing and carrots), mostly speaking complete and utter nonsense but with the odd true fact thrown in, while the remaining three panelists interrupt if they spot a truth. Even though the show shares many personnel with the daddy of all radio comedy panel shows that is I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue (it's produced by Jon Naismith, who co-created the show with Graeme Garden, and ISIHAC's script associate Iain Pattinson does the same here), The Unbelievable Truth is more like its stablemate Just a Minute merged with Call My Bluff.

The guests this week were all panel show stalwarts: Jeremy Hardy, Jo Brand, Clive Anderson and Alan Davies. Of the four, Davies was the weakest: although his interjections on QI are an amusing counterbalance with the usually more knowledgeable contributions from the other panelists, here he seems a bit too far out of his depth. His passage on Coca-Cola was read fairly woodenly, and he made little contribution to the rest of the show. No complaints about the others: all were amusing enough, with Anderson even squeezing in a bit of dig at Mitchell's Mac and PC adverts (which, sadly, Mitchell had no comeback for). Bit surprising to hear Jo Brand use the word “twat” on the radio shortly after 6.30pm, too.

David Mitchell is a competent host, nothing more, nothing less. As a panel show guest his performance can be variable, ranging from very amusing to nearly-silent (though, admittedly, that could be down to editing), but as a host he is no better than average. He reads the script well enough, and adds the odd amusing off-the-cuff comment of his own, but when compared to the calibre of hosts that usually occupy this slot such as Humphrey Lyttleton and Nicholas Parsons, he's decidedly second-rate. A better guest than host, methinks.

Ultimately though, despite the pedigree of the show's creators, writers and guests, the format just doesn't make for particularly amusing or interesting radio. It lacks the silliness and cheekiness of ISIHAC and the open-ended nature of Just A Minute, with less scope for amusing interruptions and fewer subjects per half hour. While the show is intermittently amusing, there just isn't as much scope for humour in the concept as there is in other shows of this type, with both presenter and panel often sounding a little bit bored by it all. As shows in the Monday at 6.30 slot go it certainly beats Quote Unquote, but then the sound of paint drying would be preferable to that load of smug old toss. It passes the time, but I doubt it'll run for many series, and it's certainly not worth going to any great lengths to listen to.

THE DOWN & OUTS/VOO/FLAMINGO 50 – Roadkill, Liverpool, Friday 27th May

This gig was a benefit for Love Music Hate Racism, two sentiments with which I'm sure everyone reading this will agree – both of you! Ha ha ha! Please get your friends to read our blog. Or don't bother. It's not like we just sit here all day obsessively checking our hit counter and referral log... Anyway, Love Music Hate Racism were backing the gig to raise awareness of the BNP, and what terrible fascists they still are, despite their paper-thin claims to the contrary. Bearing this in mind, imagine the thoughts that raced through my head when I noticed the entrance a gang of shaven-headed, hard-as-nails types wearing Stone Island and other “casual” clothing. Was the gig being infiltrated by fascists, like those 80s hardcore gigs I read about in MRR? Was there gonna be a riot? Am I typing this review with broken knuckles and stab wounds, smearing my own blood all over the keyboard? Read on to find out...

Anyway, first up were Puzzles, who are not mentioned above because we got there too late to see them. Sorry, Puzzles. We did, however, see Flamingo 50, a band who I went through a phase of adoring but who, for reasons I am not entirely sure of, I haven't seen play for a couple of years. They were on cracking form: singer Louise wasn't quite as manic as she had been in the past which made for a tighter but perhaps less energetic set, and while all of the songs bar the opener were too recent for me to know, I still greatly enjoyed their scuzzy brand of shouty pop-punk, including a marvellous thrash through J Church's “The Heroic Trio”.

I'm sure I've seen Voo before and been unimpressed, but tonight they were quite splendid: most agreeable catchy indie-pop, complete with amusing between-song banter (“If you want to see us again, we're playing a BNP fundraiser next week”). If you ever wished The Shins rocked out a bit more, then do give Voo a try – I'll certainly be looking out for them in the voo-ture. (Oh, come on!)

Last up were street-punk heroes the Down & Outs, one of Marko Grampus 8's many, many musical projects. Seriously, this guy should be respected as Liverpool's finest crafter of pop songs since Lennon & McCartney. Upfront, straightforward, catchy anthems of the working class to sing and chant along to are what the Down & Outs do, and they do it very, very well. During their set there was the best moshpit I've seen at a gig for some time: energetic and aggressive but not violent or unpleasant. Punk at its purest – exactly how a punk gig should be. And the “skinheads” I was wary of earlier? Loving every minute! Singing/screaming along at the tops of their voices! That'll teach me to be prejudiced, eh readers? So apologies to the shaven-headed fellows, and hurrah for Love Music Hate Racism. And please, please vote on Thursday, unless you're planning on voting for the BNP, in which case please, please take a toaster into the bath with you instead.